Sehnsucht Part 2: Brought to you by Coffee
Today I’m continuing where I left off last time. Read my previous blog if you haven’t already. I talked about what drives/fuels/motivates my art. I talked about the longing for what I could never describe, like a feeling that I belong in a world unknown to anything I’ve ever experienced. So now I continue:
(Before I divulge the deepest part of my being to you, I must take a gulp of this beautiful iced mocha I got at Honest Coffee)
The truth is that this feeling I went in depth describing in the last blog post is God within me. It’s the purpose of God hardwired into my being to express itself through my art and my music. My art is an expression of that desire to illustrate through pictures as symbols of His world within me. My music is an expression of that world wanting out through me like a doorway and into the world surrounding. And if I don’t satisfy that need to create/express/illustrate/pour out, it will become “like a fire shut up in my bones.” I’ve experienced the depression that comes as a result of not pouring out… the feeling of the dream deferred making the heart sick… the feeling of being lost due to having lost sight of my purpose. But the truth is, the more I surrender to the process of God in freeing and healing me, the more I begin to remember why I began this in the first place.
This work is not for my personal accomplishments/gain, though I do believe God will make a way for me through the gift He gave me. This work (my art and music) is for God to love the world around me, to speak to the world through it… to awaken purpose within them… to awaken their senses to this world I speak of. It’s a doorway/conduit for God to bring hearts back to life, to bring real life to the world around me, to cause people to feel alive for the first time. That’s what I want. Otherwise my art and music is merely a gimmick, a dead end cool thing. I can’t do this for my own glory or else it becomes a burden pulling me down, and causes this rocket to lose its momentum and fall back to the earth. Without the original purpose, my work is nothing more than a cool toy I selfishly refuse share with the world.
This purpose is God within me. This purpose is that my “citizenship is in heaven,” and that “If I find within me a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, then the only possible explanation is that I was made for another world.” I am here to let others in. That’s why I want to use my blog posts to help others understand the process I’m going through, and the progression my art takes - from the painful beginnings to the ethereal and childlike destinations of the latter stages.
Follow along and I’ll share with you so much more than can be explained by looking at a painting and reading what each thing symbolizes.
Thank you to everyone who believes in me, supports my art, and is cheering me on. Thank you to everyone who reads my posts and dives into understanding my work. It means the world to me and makes it worth it to continue.
Thank you. Have a good day. And coffee, God’s gift to artists and creative thinkers. Coffee should be the official sponsor of my work. Coffee and Mr. Jesus. Thanks!
-Chris the Artist
PS- The song in my head right now: